Its been a long hard week and I almost didn't make it. I've had a busy work week combined with a bad cold and some terrible night's sleep, so it was already shaping up to be a pile of shit that I was glad to get behind me. But the icing on the cake is that twice this week I have come within a gnats whisker of being killed by mentally challenged (and possibly blind) lorry drivers. This morning's brush with death was over so fast I didn't even have time for my boring pointless fucking life to flash before my eyes! I reckon I must have a high Midichlorian count or something because I swear I started to react before I was actually aware of the danger I was in. If I hadn't responded with a degree of precognition I would almost certainly be a red smear on a concrete wall right now.
I was on my regular drive into work on a three lane 'A' road and was slowing in the last 50 yards before my exit. The lorry in question was in the middle lane overtaking when he suddenly swerved into my lane, presumably because he realised he needed the same exit and was going to overshoot. He didn't indicate, there was no gentle lane change, and he clearly didn't know I was there because he was pulling into the space occupied by my car! The problem is that that stretch of road crosses a rail line and is enclosed by ten foot high concrete barriers and has no hard shoulder. I was literally inches from being sandwiched between this idiots rig and the concrete wall, and in retrospect I have no idea how we missed each other. Needless to say I fucking shit myself and when we were off the main road I had to pull over and calm down.
So my message to the driver of the of said truck is simple...Grown a fucking brain you useless fucking twat! Open your fucking eyes and learn to fucking drive before you kill somebody, you fucking useless puss filled excuse for a human being!!
 |
| I'm f**king livid! |
Sorry about that, but I needed to get that off my chest.
Hi Lee,
ReplyDeleteThat sounds really awful and I hope you have calmed down! Sadly though, it seems to happen again and again on our roads - I had similar crossing a bridge once and it scared the bejeezus out of me!
The force must have been strong in you for sure.
Deep breaths and a large brandy should be the preferred treatment in this case.
All the best and enjoy the long weekend,
DC
I've calmed down now. I've had near misses before but this really was the closest I have ever come to a sticky end. It's day's like this that I really want some bonnet mounted Gatling guns and maybe a rocket launcher or two...
DeleteHi Lee,
DeleteThe BigLeeminator - "Uzi 9mm, plsama rifle in the 40 watt range....
Glad you are Ok and calm and tranquil.
DC
Or a dash cam. Then you could shame him on your blog.
DeleteCrazy, crazy, stuff. Don't dwell on it but be cautious around trucks. The blind spots on them can hide a car easy.
DeleteCheers
Glad you're allright Lee.
DeleteSomeone needs an early night???
ReplyDeleteIts better than an early grave!
DeleteGlad you survived unlike Ray but we're sounding a little Irish this morning!
DeleteGreat post Lee. Glad you survived. There are at least 10 idiots per mile on my journey home at night,
ReplyDeleteThere are some days when I think it's just a matter of time before I'm involved in a major accident.
DeleteI think I'm a fairly defensive driver. I try to maintain my distances, I don't speed, I adjust my driving to the conditions, I keep a watchful eye on the vehicles around me and I've learned to spot (and avoid) those whose driving is erratic. But sometimes other drivers do something so monumentally stupid and unpredictable that it's a wonder I haven't been killed a dozen times over. One of these days the idiots will get me... but not today.
DeleteYou should try commuting on a bicycle like I do..... half the card driving population of the country drive with one wheel in the gutter... it's a wonder they don't just strap a brush and dustpan to the back bumper....
DeleteTo be honest, the lorry Drivers in the UK seem to be a bunch of arseholes, the number of times I´ve seen three next to each other, all lanes blocked, desperately trying to squeeze every last bit of HP of thier engines to overtake the other two,(or for the one in the middle ..the other one)
ReplyDeleteThere´s the occasional twat here but even though I don´t drive that often in the UK I can guarantee I´ll come across a years worth of nutters in one or two days on the motorways in the UK than on the roads here.
Shite! I´ll be over in a couple of weeks...best get my plastic Jesus, Bhudda put on the Dashboard and fill up my Midichlorian Count.
Take care..they won´t get you ;-D
Much as I hate to stereotype a whole group of people, I suspect you are right.
DeleteGlad you're still with us in the land of the living!
ReplyDeleteI guess it happened too quick for you to get this muppets licence plate number?
I have had several close shaves myself, but worst being a muppet pulling a U turn in front me when I was on my zx9r... T-boned his rear end at 60mph, and did my best superman impression over the top of his car... wasnt pretty... I can only thank my martial arts training that I somehow managed to land and roll in such a way to mitigate some of the landing...
From what you described, I cant put fault with you at all... The only defensive driving point I can recall in this situation is being aware of 'entering the box'... that is putting your vehicle in a position where, you cant go right (the truck) cant go left (the wall) cant speed up (truck is closing you down), All there is is hit the brakes and hope...
Just got to be real careful near trucks mate.
Take care.
I think I was probably already reacting to being closed in when the lorry started to move over. Instinct rather than reactions saved my bacon. My own personal 'Spidey-Sense'!
DeleteThis is a large part of why I quit my last job and have happily been using the train for the last 15 years. Good to hear you're OK mate.
ReplyDeleteMany years ago I worked in London and commuted. I hated it, especially trying to cross pretty much any road on my walk to the office from the station. I was sure that either a Taxi or motorcycle courier would get me in the end... clearly I've upgraded to bigger stuff now!
DeleteDriving is like gaming; often is better to be lucky than good. Glad you survived.
ReplyDeleteI'll be rolling one's for years to come now, cos I used up all my luck this morning!
DeleteGlad you're okay Lee. Maybe try a different time or different route to work for awhile, just so as not to press your luck. Dash cam is a bad idea, I wouldn't want to be on Phil's site. ;) I think that some kind of cow catcher and rocket launcher should come standard on vehicles these days.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're safe, Lee. Now next time you're having a bad day or a bad stretch of luck you can look back on this day and say you were given 'a pass'.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear you're OK.
ReplyDeleteNeed to keep reading the blog - just bought a nail varnish (sorry paint) holder because of the blog. It won't take Howard Hues paints (as sold by Magister Miletum) but much cheaper than the wooden lasercut things.
Got to agree with the previous comment about lorries and blind spots - my personal bete noir are the left hand drive Eastern European juggernauts that I encounter on the M25.
Glad you reacted. this is happening more and more, long gone are the days where the HGV were the kings of the road and the most skilled drivers
ReplyDeleteIan
From what I've seen over the years I have to agree...long, long gone.
DeleteIt is a sorry state of affairs that the very same scenario is being re-enacted all across the UK on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that I no longer do the very high millage that I used to do some years ago as I am convinced that Lorry Drivers (who comically refer to themselves as'Knight of the Road') are in fact (like you said) mindless idiots who should be instantly banned from driving when these offences occur - they are after all driving very real killing machines and as far as I can see have no regard for the car!
Glad that you are still with us.
Tony
A similar thing happened to me a few years ago, an artic just invaded my space on the north circ, squashing my (luckily company) car. even more luckily we were not going at speed, so i survived. the twat in question didnt said he didnt see me, he didnt see my right hand until it was to late either...
ReplyDelete