Below Average

My dice rolling is bad, really really bad. And by that I mean 'defying the laws of physics' bad. In fact the situation has become so dire that the Rejects own Ray has taken to referring to me as "Poor Lee" rather than Big Lee (the git). I'm a normally rational bloke - I don't belive in 'luck' or 'fate' -  but my dice rolling performance is begining to make me wonder if I am cursed. I have another game this Saturday and I fully expect the dice to be just as goddamned awful as they have been in the last few games. So (more with a morbid sense of curiosity than hope) I decided to test my dice throwing mojo.

My methodology is simple. I will roll three different dice ten times each by hand and then repeating the same test using an electronic dice roller. Hardly scientific but it'll do for the puposes of this test.

So the first batch of real dice, rolled from my own cursed hands:

• 10d20.... 2,4,7,2,8,15,1,5,4,3 - Average 5.1 
• 10d10.... 1,1,4,2,5,9,3,1,5,2 - Average 3.3 
• 10d6....   6,1,2,4,3,1,2,1,2,4 - Average 2.6

Dismal, by anyones standards. Now the same again this time a digital dice rolling programme, so no physical contact with any dice:

• 10d20....  4,17,19,11,19,4,18,4,8,18 - Average 13.2 
• 10d10....  8,2,9,9,2,9,10,7,6,8 - Average 7.0
• 10d6....    6,5,4,6,6,2,1,6,4,4 - Average 4.4

Right. I think that confirms I am cursed! I may have to take drastic measures to rectify this, such as wearing gloves or using tongs to handle the dice so my hands don't come into contact and thereby infect them! I could get someone else to throw the dice for me but them I might as well not take part. Another option would be to shake the dice in a clear plastic box with a lid so I can 'roll' without touching them. My personal favourite option however is a bit more extreme but a lot more satisfying. Threatening dire consequences if the dice misbehave. Such as....

Purged by fire!    (source)

Shot at dawn    (source)

Setting them adrift    (source)

Diecicles!    (source)

Pulverised for bad behaviour     (source)

Made to watch while their buddy is executed    (source)

Ground underfoot    (source)

Driller Killer    (source)

You know your dice are bad when you start having psychotic fantasies about destroying them!